Literaly 3 am Feeding

Well if you couldn't tell by the title what I am doing by the title of my post I will describe what I am looking at: a milk induced cute coma boy who has a little milk mustache and a half smile going at the wonderful thoughts of milk fairies dancing in his head. Life is so hard for little boys! I would like to go to sleep and dream of food. I had a little break down yesterday. I joined Weight Watchers (for a third time in my life) on Monday. I figured I was going to have to join and seeing as to how I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy. I blame it on it also being my first year of marriage as well. I have lost 20 pounds since Tatum was born but I guess I have to work off the other 30 plus the other weight I gained before I got pregnant bring the grand total to lose to get down to premarriage weight: 70 pounds! Wow! But hey I dug my hole for myself so I will have to dig my way back pound by pound. I have done Weight Watchers 3 times in my life. The first time I lost 40 pounds and kept it off for 5 months until I was put on birth control before I got married. The second time I did Weight Watchers I prepaid for 3 months and ended up pregnant after 3 or 4 weeks. So I hope to have better results this time around like I had the first. I think the thing that helps the most is having support to lose weight. My support this time around has been my sister Emily. She really and truly is inspiring me. She has already lost 15 or so pounds exercising and watching what she eats and you can tell by looking at her. I have to say that what is helping is jealousy. To be honest the only reason I joined and had such great success the first time was my best friends were doing Weight Watchers and losing weight and getting all sexy and I was getting fatter and more jealous. I have been really good this week except last night I would have killed for some chips and salsa (not store bought) and/or chocolate. I have to admit that I even swore because I wanted it so bad. So Cody, after giving me a Heather Anne for swearing (is he my mother?), helped me dip chocolate covered pretzels to eat. I wasn’t terrible because I didn’t eat tons of dipped pretzels (just a ton of chocolate during the process) but afterwards all I could think about was why didn’t I just go do something to distract myself? Oh well I am still within my weekly points but I guess Friday night date night I will have to be good when we go out to eat cause I am about out of my extra weekly points. I think that I will continue to write about my weight (whether it be gainage is losage (I love making words up!)) because it is vary therapeutic to vent my food frustrations. This is why I would like to join Tatum in his food dreams but I would like to invite the fresh made chips and salsa dipped in chocolate fairies…. So back to bed with the both of us and I wish my 3 followers (including Cody who is already dreaming of food while I feed but hey I will cut him a break cause he was on the phone until midnight with people from India for work while I slept and drooled) happy food dreams!